Metacognition: Reflecting Upon First Semester and Setting Goals and Rewards for the Second

The start of a new year is an excellent time to both do some self-reflection on the past semester and look ahead at the upcoming semester. One of the key executive functioning skills, metacognition, is essential in doing both of those things. Metacognition, in its most basic definition, is the act of thinking about thinking. Sounds simple, but in reality it is one of the hardest skills to strengthen because we often just don’t take the time to sit down and think about what went wrong and what went right and why. However, if we can improve this self-regulatory process we can begin to strengthen all of our other executive skills because they all work interdependently. So, let’s take a look at what it means to reflect on the past semester and set goals and rewards for the second semester!

Helpful strategies when reflecting on the previous semester: 

• Be Specific: When we begin to “reflect” on the past semester, it is important to be as specific as possible. Hopefully, you had some goals previously set that were measurable. For example, your child’s goal might have been “turning in all homework assignments on time with no more than one missed assignment per week.” Now is the time to go in and see if this goal was met and how often it was met. If possible, giving a percentage here is helpful (i.e. this goal was met 80 percent of the time).

• Open Discussion: After looking as specifically as possible at previous goals or grades from the last semester, spend some time discussing what went wrong and what went right. It can be helpful to do this for each class individually, especially if there are one or two classes that goals were or were not met in. For a class where goals were met, ask questions like, “What were some things you felt helped you the most to stay on track in this class,” or “What do you feel you did really well in this class?” For classes where goals were not met, it may be helpful to ask questions like, “Can you tell me what the hardest aspects of this class are,” or “What are some things that you felt you struggled with in this class?” Jot these things down and spend some time discussing strategies to adjust or improve in each area!

• Future Planning: Once we have identified the successes and areas for improvement from the past semester, we can better plan realistic goals and rewards for the semester ahead.

Setting New Goals and Rewards

• Setting New Goals: January is naturally a great time to look ahead at the remainder of this school year and either make new goals or adjust previously set ones. Let’s say in the previous semester your child had a goal of turning in all homework assignments on time with no more than 2 missed assignments per month and they did this 90 plus percent of the time. Now may be a good time to adjust this goal to “completing all homework assignments on time with only 1 or no missed assignments per month”. If a goal is consistently being met (85 percent or more of the time) it would be good to either adjust it to strengthen it more, or possibly look to see if there’s another area that could be worked on instead.

• Defining Rewards: Rewards can be extremely beneficial in all scenarios but especially if many of the goals from the previous semester haven’t been met. Let’s go back to the goal of completing all homework assignments per month with two or fewer missed. If this goal was only being met 50 percent of the time, now may be a good time to add a reward in for reaching this goal. It is good to offer a mix of smaller attainable rewards and then possibly a larger reward. In the scenario of turning all homework assignments in on time, there could be a weekly, or even daily, small reward for turning work in and a larger reward to look forward to if the month-long goal is met. It’s great to discuss with your child what rewards are most interesting or exciting to them and work together to come up with an incentive plan as the new semester begins!

Written by: Laine J.

Self Regulation and Emotional Control: 5 Tips and Tools to Use at Any Age when Stress Gets High

We’ve all been there… the work has piled up, there isn’t enough time to complete everything and anything that can go wrong does. Yes, life can be full of stressful situations no matter who you are or what age! A key life skill is our ability to handle our emotions and self-regulate even at times where it may seem impossible. Self- regulation and emotional control are skills that most of us are, in fact, still developing each and every day. Similarly to how we strengthen our bodies at the gym, we must also practice our tools to de-stress and self-regulate on a regular basis. Below are five tools and tips to help improve these vital executive functioning skills at any age. 

1. Mindfulness and Breathing Exercises: Mindfulness and breathing exercises can be some of the most beneficial tools to work on our emotional control and handle all that life throws at us. The key is to practice them on a daily basis, not just when things get hard. Think of it this way, a professional athlete spends an enormous amount of time training for the big day, they don’t just show up at the game and expect to be good. Our minds work the same way. For younger children, the ‘take five’ breathing exercise is a great strategy for calming down. Have your child hold up their hand and trace each finger breathing in as they go up the finger and out as they go down. For older kids and adults, the 4-7-8 is an excellent breathing exercise to use daily. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, hold at the top for 7 seconds and breathe out for a count of 8. Repeat this four times. By making these exercises a part of your daily routine now, you can have them in your toolkit when stress gets high.

2. Movement: The benefits of regular physical activity cannot be stressed enough. When we exercise our body gets endorphins, and as Elle Woods says it, endorphins make us happy. It is great to try to incorporate movement a little each day, but especially when life gets chaotic it is more beneficial than ever to stop, take a break and get some physical activity. Going for a walk or bike ride, doing twenty minutes of yoga, or having a ten-minute dance party break for the little ones (and little ones at heart) can all be excellent brain breaks and give us what we need when we are having trouble regulating our emotions.

3. Create a Calm Down Kit: When we feel stressed, we often want to be comforted. A great idea to help with this is to create a basket or kit that can help us calm down and feel at peace during these times. For little ones, the basket might include a stuffed animal, a fidget toy or small puzzle, a book of yoga cards, a sensory jar or play dough. For older kids, a calm down kit might include headphones for listening to your favorite music, a comforting snack, a mindful coloring book, a warm blanket or pillow, a candle or anything else that brings us the feeling of peace that we crave during times of stress.

4. Change up the Routine: If your child all of the sudden has a bunch of projects, multiple homework assignments and a test due in two days, cue the stress and emotional overload. A simple tool that can help is to change up your routine. This might mean working in a new environment like outside or at a coffee shop. Another option is to alternate the harder tasks with something different and fun— perhaps an activity in your calm down basket or a quick trip to get some ice cream!

5. Nourish Your Body: When we get stressed, we tend to forget about self-care and that impacts our ability to self-regulate and control our emotions. Make sure to drink extra water, eat whole foods, get plenty of sleep and exercise. We can also nourish our minds by doing something creative like a craft, spending time with family and friends, or watching a funny show or movie to give a good old dose of laughter.

Written by: Laine J.