We’ve all been there… the work has piled up, there isn’t enough time to complete everything and anything that can go wrong does. Yes, life can be full of stressful situations no matter who you are or what age! A key life skill is our ability to handle our emotions and self-regulate even at times where it may seem impossible. Self- regulation and emotional control are skills that most of us are, in fact, still developing each and every day. Similarly to how we strengthen our bodies at the gym, we must also practice our tools to de-stress and self-regulate on a regular basis. Below are five tools and tips to help improve these vital executive functioning skills at any age.
Mindfulness and Breathing Exercises: Mindfulness and breathing exercises can be some of the most beneficial tools to work on our emotional control and handle all that life throws at us. The key is to practice them on a daily basis, not just when things get hard. Think of it this way, a professional athlete spends an enormous amount of time training for the big day, they don’t just show up at the game and expect to be good. Our minds work the same way. For younger children, the ‘take five’ breathing exercise is a great strategy for calming down. Have your child hold up their hand and trace each finger breathing in as they go up the finger and out as they go down. For older kids and adults, the 4-7-8 is an excellent breathing exercise to use daily. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, hold at the top for 7 seconds and breathe out for a count of 8. Repeat this four times. By making these exercises a part of your daily routine now, you can have them in your toolkit when stress gets high.
Movement: The benefits of regular physical activity cannot be stressed enough. When we exercise our body gets endorphins, and as Elle Woods says it, endorphins make us happy. It is great to try to incorporate movement a little each day, but especially when life gets chaotic it is more beneficial than ever to stop, take a break and get some physical activity. Going for a walk or bike ride, doing twenty minutes of yoga, or having a ten-minute dance party break for the little ones (and little ones at heart) can all be excellent brain breaks and give us what we need when we are having trouble regulating our emotions.
Create a Calm Down Kit: When we feel stressed, we often want to be comforted. A great idea to help with this is to create a basket or kit that can help us calm down and feel at peace during these times. For little ones, the basket might include a stuffed animal, a fidget toy or small puzzle, a book of yoga cards, a sensory jar or play dough. For older kids, a calm down kit might include headphones for listening to your favorite music, a comforting snack, a mindful coloring book, a warm blanket or pillow, a candle or anything else that brings us the feeling of peace that we crave during times of stress.
Change up the Routine: If your child all of the sudden has a bunch of projects, multiple homework assignments and a test due in two days, cue the stress and emotional overload. A simple tool that can help is to change up your routine. This might mean working in a new environment like outside or at a coffee shop. Another option is to alternate the harder tasks with something different and fun— perhaps an activity in your calm down basket or a quick trip to get some ice cream!
Nourish Your Body: When we get stressed, we tend to forget about self-care and that impacts our ability to self-regulate and control our emotions. Make sure to drink extra water, eat whole foods, get plenty of sleep and exercise. We can also nourish our minds by doing something creative like a craft, spending time with family and friends, or watching a funny show or movie to give a good old dose of laughter.
Written by: Laine J.